Simple Marriage Improving Tricks Worth Trying Before Spending On Couples Therapy

After the honeymoon phase is over, it often seems like all the excitement is gone, but it doesn’t have to be! These tricks and tips are designed for you to keep the good feelings and fun times rolling—and to weather the inevitable storms without totally sinking.

1. Compromise

Pick and choose your battles. You have the rest of your life to spend together, it might not be worth it to waste an afternoon arguing about why your husband forgot to take the trash out. After you get married, being able to blend your way and their way often takes on a new meaning.

2. Stay True To Yourself

Once you become someone’s spouse in life, you’re still you! Committing yourself to someone else does not mean that you are signing away the things that make you, you. Yes, now your life involves a partner, but if you forget about your own identity, you will eventually resent it. Make it a point to spend time alone doing the things that you love.

3. Acknowledge That Fighting Is Going to Happen

You are not going to fight less after you get married. End of story. It’s important to accept that some marital issues will never be resolved, which is why it’s especially important to remember #1 from above – compromise. It is equally important to know that persistence, good will, and humor can go a long way toward buffering couples against resentment and hostility.

In other words: Don’t freak out when you fight (because it’s inevitable), but do try to fight fair—and always remember that this person you’re fighting with is the love of your life. They can’t be all that bad!

4. Make Your Sex Life Work for Your Marriage

Don’t expect the same butterflies as you have early in a new relationship, instead, make sex about enjoying each other, being close, and keeping each other happy. Part of the excitement in the initial stage of a relationship, brain chemically speaking, is the novelty—everything is new. It is important for couples to seek out new opportunities together.

5. Give Thanks

Keeping love alive and flowing in your relationship is essential to being happy with each other. Set aside some time in your schedule to let each other know when you feel loved. Show your gratitude verbally, with flowers and candy, with dinners out, with a hug or a kiss— anything is better than nothing!

6. Be Honest with Yourself

By starting a conversation by taking some of the blame and responsibility instead of pointing the finger, you are providing room for your spouse to feel open and un attacked. Some couples get into a game of marital ‘chicken,’ in which each waits for the other to change. In the interim, the marriage can wither away because neither partner is willing to be the first to change. Instead of focusing only on your partner’s flaws, you should own up to your own, as well—and think about what you can do to create more marital bliss in your relationship.

8. Be Willing to Work to Make Your Relationship Thrive

You’ve probably heard this before, but that’s because it’s true: Having a good marriage takes intentional effort. It doesn’t just happen on its own. People who have great marriages work at it all the time.

Even just having some kind of ritual that shows you care about your bond—for example, making sure you kiss your spouse goodnight, or before you leave in the morning. And, hey, it definitely beats shelling out thousands of dollars on marriage counseling.

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Ways To Better Communicate With Your Significant Other

Accept your spouse for who they are. Men and women communicate differently, and accepting this is key. While it may not be easy to change how you think and feel, it is easy to change your perspective. Accept who they are and how they best communicate. That may require you to approach them differently to have a more effective conversation. As long as you are learning and progressing together, you are on the right track. The problems start when either partner is unwilling to change their approach. Relationships are compromise. Before speaking, think long and hard about how they would approach you with a similar conversation. Follow their lead and speak to them in ways they can relate to.

Feed each others love languages. If you haven’t read the 5 Love Languages book by Gary Chapman, now is the time to do so. This book breaks down the various ways people feel most loved. There are so many different ways, and most importantly, everyone is different. For many it is in gifts. For others it is all about physical touch and affection. Make sure you figure out each others love languages and then USE them. When you feel loved, it is much easier to increase quality communication.

Leave emotions at the door. This is easier said than done for both men and women, but sometimes you just need to get logical about things. Yes, emotions are at the key of most relationships, but there are many situations where you need to check your emotions at the door and listen to your spouse and their thoughts from a logical calm point of view.

What often works best, especially when emotions are already running high, is physical space. Take a walk. Take deep breaths. Give yourself a few minutes to relax, because so often, during this time, things naturally fall into perspective and the simple minutes of silence between you two can often be enough to solve the problem.

Leave the past behind you. Make an agreement that each conversation will be about the here and now. Leave past grievances where they are – in the past. While you may wish to proceed with caution, avoid the urge to bring up past indiscretions or arguments. Instead, focus on the good things and the current situation as it stands alone.

Put down your phone. This is one of the biggest issues in communicating with your spouse. We forget that to do so, we need to focus on them. Our phones, computers, televisions and tablets have become attached to our hips. When it is time to get serious with your spouse, give them your full attention. Meaning: put away electronics and focus exclusively on them!

Desiring better communication with your spouse is something we should all strive for. No matter how many years you have been together, there is always room to change and grow. It is important that you focus on each other and continue to learn how to reach each other in the best way possible.