After the honeymoon phase is over, it often seems like all the excitement is gone, but it doesn’t have to be! These tricks and tips are designed for you to keep the good feelings and fun times rolling—and to weather the inevitable storms without totally sinking.
Pick and choose your battles. You have the rest of your life to spend together, it might not be worth it to waste an afternoon arguing about why your husband forgot to take the trash out. After you get married, being able to blend your way and their way often takes on a new meaning.
2. Stay True To Yourself
Once you become someone’s spouse in life, you’re still you! Committing yourself to someone else does not mean that you are signing away the things that make you, you. Yes, now your life involves a partner, but if you forget about your own identity, you will eventually resent it. Make it a point to spend time alone doing the things that you love.
3. Acknowledge That Fighting Is Going to Happen
You are not going to fight less after you get married. End of story. It’s important to accept that some marital issues will never be resolved, which is why it’s especially important to remember #1 from above – compromise. It is equally important to know that persistence, good will, and humor can go a long way toward buffering couples against resentment and hostility.
In other words: Don’t freak out when you fight (because it’s inevitable), but do try to fight fair—and always remember that this person you’re fighting with is the love of your life. They can’t be all that bad!
4. Make Your Sex Life Work for Your Marriage
Don’t expect the same butterflies as you have early in a new relationship, instead, make sex about enjoying each other, being close, and keeping each other happy. Part of the excitement in the initial stage of a relationship, brain chemically speaking, is the novelty—everything is new. It is important for couples to seek out new opportunities together.
5. Give Thanks
Keeping love alive and flowing in your relationship is essential to being happy with each other. Set aside some time in your schedule to let each other know when you feel loved. Show your gratitude verbally, with flowers and candy, with dinners out, with a hug or a kiss— anything is better than nothing!
6. Be Honest with Yourself
By starting a conversation by taking some of the blame and responsibility instead of pointing the finger, you are providing room for your spouse to feel open and un attacked. Some couples get into a game of marital ‘chicken,’ in which each waits for the other to change. In the interim, the marriage can wither away because neither partner is willing to be the first to change. Instead of focusing only on your partner’s flaws, you should own up to your own, as well—and think about what you can do to create more marital bliss in your relationship.
8. Be Willing to Work to Make Your Relationship Thrive
You’ve probably heard this before, but that’s because it’s true: Having a good marriage takes intentional effort. It doesn’t just happen on its own. People who have great marriages work at it all the time.
Even just having some kind of ritual that shows you care about your bond—for example, making sure you kiss your spouse goodnight, or before you leave in the morning. And, hey, it definitely beats shelling out thousands of dollars on marriage counseling.
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