Let go of comparison and embrace your unique marriage. Comparison is the killer of many marriages. I’ve seen far too many marriages go through rough patches after a lot of “I did the dishes, while you watched TV…. Well… I cleaned out the car while you were at the store.” Don’t get into this cycle.
Even when marriage becomes a test, you can grow closer together. Always remember that you can learn and grow from every hard time you go through together. Try and come out on the other side stronger and closer then ever. No matter how bad things may get, you can learn from them and more importantly, you can grow from them.
You have got to rely on each other – be the shoulder for the other one to cry on. You can ban together or move apart, so try to ban together in tough times. This is your person, who you picked because you enjoy being around them more than any other person in the world, so don’t forget this, even when you are upset.
Make time for your marriage each and every day. Maybe it is 20 minutes talking every night, going on a morning jog together, or an evening walk, or maybe it’s as simple as eating breakfast together every morning, just the two of you.
Remembering why you said “I do” can strengthen and renew your marriage. If you forget the reasons, look back on your engagement times. Remember your dating times. Look at the person that you married and find the good in them. Find their strengths and let go of the weaknesses.
Learning to simplify your commitments is key for a growing marriage. You have to find time to be together – and if that means letting go of the things that cause stress or take up too much time, so be it!
Make the time to date your spouse. Go out once a month or more, if you can. Try and instate a regular date night into your routine that you can both look forward to! Take turns planning it every time and enjoy special time together.
Create space to talk with your spouse. Start a conversation or play a conversation game. Even do a 5 question game where you can each ask 5 questions “If we could move anywhere, where would you want to be?”
Visit somewhere new together for a fresh adventure. This is great advice! If you can experience new things together, it will be so much fun for both of you!
Take some time to learn your spouse’s personality type. I also suggest reading the 5 Love Languages – this book is a must-read for married couples.
Learning from others and sharing your struggles can be a great way to grow a deeper marriage. You have to trust each other and talk to one another. Bouncing feelings and ideas off of each other not only lifts the weight off of your shoulders, but also allows your partner to better see where you are coming from in order to help move forward.
Sometimes you will annoy each other, and that is okay. I heard one time that they key to being married is never falling out of love at the same time. Yes, sometimes living with someone every day will get on your nerves. They leave the towel on the floor or they leave their shoes out… remember that you can’t fester in that moment, but also know that it is normal.
Taking time to read about marriage can help you to constantly be growing. Finding marriage books or reading a book together is a great way to connect.
Speak life into each other. Your spouse needs to hear words of encouragement, too. They need to know that you appreciate them. Speaking kind words will build someone up quicker than anything I’ve ever seen.
Kiss more than you complain. Every day, kiss your spouse. Kiss them ‘goodbye’ when they leave and ‘welcome home’ when they get back.